Entries - OC87 Recovery Diaries

Hope amidst the Hopelessness of Depression

I had always been a sullen, solitary girl, sensitive and moody, prone to uncontrollable emotional outbursts. But the sadness I felt that winter was deeper, the outbursts more frequent, intense, and all-consuming.

The (im) possibilities of love with bipolar

I should have asked for her hand in marriage, but she would have just given me the finger. I live with bipolar disorder. Once, I loved with it too.

The Mental Health of an Addict’s Mother

It is impossible to ignore the impact that a child’s addiction and mental health has on a parent. Because of this I started therapy myself, and I believe that it saved my life.

My Whirlwind Brain; Living with Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and Anxiety

I’m a thirty-seven-year-old woman who was diagnosed with bipolar, depression and anxiety at the age of twenty-two. As I look back on my life I can remember feeling anxious throughout my childhood. I grew up in a good home with loving parents, but my anxiety persisted.

Physician Mental Health & Suicide

by https://youtu.be/7qBobGOF0fs Doctors are the healers and the helpers. But what happens when it’s the doctors who need the healing and the help? An estimated 300 to 400 doctors die by suicide each year, a rate...

The Power of an Emotional Support Animal in Mental Health Recovery

Bowser and I had met when I began a rather impulsive search for someone, or something, to help alleviate my mental and emotional turmoil.

Reasons Why I Should Die – Coming Back from Teenage Suicidal Ideation

I’m writing now as a happy and fulfilled young adult. But ten years ago, I thought my life was worth ending.

When Thoughts are Sticky; Pure OCD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Though I am in recovery from generalized anxiety disorder, (GAD) that doesn’t mean I am cured, I have periods of remission and mini flare-ups.

Five Years of Sobriety: Smiling and Waving and Looking so Fine

I stopped drinking the next day. There was no plan. It was just, “I’m not drinking today, and probably not tomorrow.” Five years.

You’re Manic Bipolar – The Line Between Audience and Stage

You’re more powerful than you know. And, once you learn how to wield your powers, trust me. They’ll applaud.

2 Gabes in A Car Sharing Mental Health Stories

In addition to sharing a first name, they also share a passion for busting stigma about mental illness. Mental health advocacy brought them together, but something deeper created a connection.

Seeking Sanity Step by Step

My illness devastated me at age twenty when I was committed to a psychiatric hospital for sixty days and eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Psychosis: A Beginning. An End.

My impaired judgement was obvious even in the early days of my illness. I exhibited so many of the symptoms associated with psychosis—a substantial drop in my grades, trouble concentrating, declining hygiene, a significant weight loss, oscillating from strong emotions to a feeling of emptiness to name a few.

Is Mental Illness Your Rabbit, Too? Living with Anxiety and Depression

Not hallucinations, but rather some of the smaller and fuzzier denizens native to Cambridge, Massachusetts. There is no metaphor more fitting for the person I was back then: twitchy, easily startled, a propensity to run scared from others. I had lost all the avenues I’d had to hide from depression and anxiety, and they closed in like a pair of gangsters in an alleyway.

Depression, Anxiety, and Panic Disorder: From Daunted to Driven

I felt like a complete failure. I had always been able to handle everything without an issue. But at first, navigating depression was another story.

Tackling PTSD: Hell or High Seas

Taylor Grieger was diagnosed with complex PTSD several months after his release from the Navy with little-to-no guidance on how to cope with his condition.

A Suicide Attempt Spurs a New Life of Advocacy

One night, my mental state deteriorated to the point where I tried to end my life through a suicde attempt. It was impulsive and rash.

My Five Stages of Depression

The Five Stages of Mourning is a perfect template for my own Five Stages of Depression: Anger, Anxiety/Exhaustion, Depression, Treatment, and Recovery.

Now What?: Suicidality and Planning for an Uncertain Present

When I exhibited symptoms of C-PTSD and OCD, I was afraid and lost. I survived multiple major depressive episodes, all of them including suicidality.

Call Out Each Cloud by its Silver Lining: Life with Depression & Anxiety in India

Whenever I’d gone through stages of major depression or anxiety as a young teenager, all I’d hear was that I was stupid, lazy, and unambitious. Imagine being judged by your symptoms and not by your illness.

How to be an Active Listener

A rising number of college students are seeking treatment at campus counseling centers for serious mental health challenges. Our video features the powerful listeners from Cogwell@Penn. Watch (and learn) how they skillfully role-play as active listeners when presented with a variety of stories from friends in need.

You Just Can’t Talk to Crazy People: Bipolar, Depressed, Recovering

My psychiatrist became so annoyed with my theological nonsense that he abruptly stalked out of one session, exclaiming, “You just can’t talk to crazy people.” I sent him a note later, in which I informed him that I could talk to crazy people, so that was his problem, not mine.

Learning to Live in the Moment with Schizoaffective Disorder

Around age fifteen or sixteen, I began experimenting with drugs. I can tell you that this was, and always will be, the beginning of an ultimately fascinating journey that I call life with a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder.

How Audre Lorde’s Cancer Journals Helped Me Cope with my Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

I am determined to love and live intensely and fearlessly because, as Audre Lorde said, betraying myself into silence will not protect me.

Marriage and Mental Illness: The Ups and Downs

When you think of married life, what comes to mind? Are you in complete bliss or just plain miserable? Maybe you’re floating somewhere in between.

Treatment Resistant Depression: My Experience with Countless Interventions

I endured this routine for so long: try a new medication to alleviate my treatment resistant depression and either feel horrible or feel absolutely nothing.

A Vain & Misguided Decision: Abandoning Schizoaffective Disorder Medication

I am trying hard to make good decisions. I see my psychiatrist regularly. I take my medication. I try to live a healthy lifestyle with schizoaffective disorder.

What it Feels Like to be Passively Suicidal and Not Want to Die

The passive suicidal thoughts are still there, but I have started to recognize that they are only powerful if I give them the power.

A Clinician’s Journey from Complex Trauma to Thriving: Reflections on Abuse, C-PTSD and Reclamation

Sheri Heller’s new book, A Clinician’s Journey from Complex Trauma to Thriving, is a guide to healing with a keen awareness that no two paths are the same.

Repairing a Beautiful Life Damaged by Depression

When I finally saw a psychiatrist, she was surprised that I was still alive, having been afflicted with depression for so long without medical treatment.

Acceptance: How One Friend Helped Me Get Help for Depression and Anxiety on my Own Terms

As I battle with depression, anxiety, and PTSD, it has always been far easier for me to support others with mental health struggles than to admit my own.

Laces Out: Chokeslammed by Suicidal Thoughts & Depression

With depression, I had suicidal thoughts. Not because I wanted to kill myself, but because the idea of being “done” felt like serenity.

Worth a Thousand Words: Mental Health in Pictures

These images of mental in pictures are not what the public wants people to show. They are reality. They are dirty, messy, uninhibited, and true.

Making Peace with Persistent Depressive Disorder

Persistent depressive disorder (formerly known as dysthymic disorder or dysthymia) is just what it sounds like: depression that persists.

Lilah James: Complex PTSD Recovery on the Runway

A complex PTSD diagnosis became inspiration for a fashion designer’s runway line. In Glenn Holsten’s short film, Lilah James shares recovery and creativity.

My Social (Anxiety) Life Online

Social anxiety still exists online. You’re still putting yourself out there and you feel vulnerable opening up, not knowing what response you’ll get.

More Mental Health Accounts to Follow on Instagram

This installment of our mental health resources column highlights Instagram mental health from authors who have appeared on OC87 Recovery Diaries.

How I Recovered from a Disorder I Had Never Heard of – Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures

In my research, I found several articles about Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures. Doctors do not use the term pseudo-seizures anymore because it falsifies them and invalidates them. Pseudo is a prefix meaning “false” or “fake,” and the seizures I was having, while not epileptic, were anything but fake.

Time to Get Clean: Fatherhood and OCD

I feel like I need complicated charts, graphs, and spreadsheets to adequately explain how big of a failure I am as a brand new stay-at-home dad.

I’m Just Tired: When You Dismiss Depression

“I can’t explain where I’ve been, and though everyone wants to understand, it doesn’t mean they comprehend. They can’t grasp where I am.” – Kathryn Rose Wood

The Danger of Getting Stuck in the Identity and Drama of Childhood Trauma

Experiencing childhood trauma, I knew that something was wrong or different about me, but for a long time I dismissed that notion.

Anxiety Facebook Pages – Mental Health Recovery Accounts to Follow Now

This month’s installment of our mental health resources column is centered on anxiety Facebook pages, including a few pages with one to two million followers.

From Depressed and Suicidal to a New Outlook

I went from unhappy to miserable to struggling to overwhelmed to depressed and suicidal. First I was diagnosed with post-natal depression, followed by treatment-resistant clinical depression. Then came the biggest clanger of all, diagnosis number three: borderline personality disorder.

The Performance of Life: A Son with Bipolar Remembers his Father

My father’s compassion when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder was unreal and unexpected. Importantly, he was engaged in his own efforts to better understand what life is like for a son with bipolar disorder by seeking out support groups.

How Bipolar Support Groups Helped Change My Life

It took months of internal debate before I worked up the courage and the desire to at least give the depression and bipolar support groups a shot.

Unforgotten – Marlboro State Psychiatric Hospital

A few months ago, I saw a photo on Facebook of a cemetery in Marlboro, New Jersey. The cemetery was on the grounds where the Marlboro State Psychiatric Hospital once stood, and was the place where people who were once residents of the hospital were laid to rest.

Painting My Roses Red – Navigating Recovery

Groggy. Always groggy. Part bored, part feeling down. Seems I always have habits I either need to break or start—when I can get around to it. Maybe tomorrow, after my 8:30am nap.

5 Depression Twitter Accounts for Community, Resources, and Encouragement

This installment of our mental health resources column focuses on depression Twitter accounts including DBSA, Sad Girls Club, Heads Up Guys, Natasha Tracy, and Depression Notes.

Bipolar Disorder and PTSD – How I Accepted My Mental Illness Before it had a Name

Before I had a name for my mental illness — bipolar disorder and ptsd — this is what it felt like: playing diagnosis dress-up, trying on labels, seeing how they fit, and feeling lost — like there was nothing left in my closet to wear.

Review – Rock Steady: Brilliant Advice from my Bipolar Life

Ellen Forney has written a second graphic novel, Rock Steady: Brilliant Advice from my Bipolar Life, which leads the reader through her healing process.

Kevin Hines Teaches Us That Being Well is an Art in Suicide: The Ripple Effect

In Suicide: The Ripple Effect, Kevin Hines recounts the tale of his suicide attempt when he was nineteen years old, and then embarks on a journey to offer hope to others who may be struggling, and to hear stories from mental health advocates like him.

Hunting for Ninjas: When Trauma and Addiction are Hiding in the Dark

They say when you experience a traumatic experience as a child, you block out the details. My memory jumps.

Glowing on the Outside; Crumbling Inside – Depression, Anxiety and Motherhood

I failed the postpartum screening given, as protocol, by the hospital, and yet they sent me home.

Get Used to Life Without Me: A Dispassionate Road to Suicide with Depression

I crossed seamlessly from ambivalence and malaise into an area I’d never been before: actively planning suicide.

After I Destroyed Myself: Fast and Furious with Bipolar Disorder and Addiction

I’m not an expert on mental health, addiction, or suicide. I’m a survivor.

Life with OCD on Instagram – 5 OCD Instagram Accounts to Follow Now

These five OCD Instagram accounts show different perspectives on what it’s like to live with obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Playing Hide and Seek with a Demon: My Struggle with Anxiety

I don’t know when it started. It was not as though I suddenly woke up with a raging heartbeat and butterflies in my stomach, wishing I could run away from myself. It came in tiny bits of worry.

Walking the Border: The Delicate Dance of OCD and Borderline

Yes, I have been diagnosed with depression, OCD and borderline personality disorder. Yet, I am still a good person.

Addiction and Anxiety – My Poetic Recovery

Trapped between fear and anxiety, I would drink and use drugs to cover up my feelings. After years of living this way with several bad trips, blackouts and hospitalizations, I went into treatment.

Transcending the Pain of Schizoaffective Disorder

Schizoaffective bipolar type is a disease characterized by mood swings and depression, in addition to psychosis, delusions, and paranoia.

Bipolar Disorder on Facebook – 5 Accounts to Follow

This post highlights bipolar disorder on Facebook. Check out these accounts, give @oc87rd a follow on Facebook, and be sure to explore the related links in this post.

Cumulative PTSD for a Police Officer After 9/11

This video features Officer Ron Griffith, formerly of the NYPD. After 9/11, Ron’s personality shifted. He became a controlling, angry person. He says he wasn’t aware of this change until his family left him, and all he was left with cumulative PTSD.

Mental Health Silent Retreats Have Changed My Recovery Story

Mental health silent retreats have been an important tool in my recovery. They have allowed me to forgive, heal, and gain clarity.

The Homeless Gospel Choir, Punk Rock, and My Mental Health Journey

I started writing songs about my feelings and sharing them with audiences throughout the country as a touring musician, under the name The Homeless Gospel Choir.

You Are Not Alone: Inside My OCD Brain

Therapists have told me that I use these repetitive behaviors as way to avoid facing my fears.

Episode 21 – A Talk with Psych Central Podcast Host, Gabe Howard

Podcast interview with PsychCentral.com podcast host, Gabe Howard, who suffers from bipolar disorder, but is in recovery.

Growing Pains with a PTSD Diagnosis

A memory, a word, a smell, an instance can take one back to the exact moment the trauma first spoke to them.

Bipolar Disorder Videos on YouTube

by I host a monologue in my head all day long, as I assume most people do; I run through my to-do lists, organize my tasks at hand, and guide myself through my own emotional reactions. These are the types of...

Beneath the Vest: Police Officer Alcoholism, Mental Health & Recovery

Joe has wrestled with alcoholism and the stresses of life as a police officer, a sometimes combustible combination.

Challenges of Writing a Bipolar Book When You Have Bipolar

I have bipolar disorder and I’ve written a book about my experience living with bipolar disorder and depression.

Episode 20 – Psychologist Maury Joseph, PsyD: A Therapist with a Unique Approach

A podcast interview with psychologist Maury Joseph, PsyD. Maury is different from most psychologists in that he “gets out of the way of his patients.”

Married… with Bipolar Disorder: One Couple’s Unique Mental Health Perspective

Gabe lives with bipolar disorder and Kendall lives with Gabe, who lives with bipolar disorder so, in a way; Kendall does most definitely “live” with bipolar disorder.

With Depression, Love Won’t Save Me

“I wrote the song “Becoming” about giving my mental health adequate attention and care, even while in a relationship.” — Emily Yacina

Episode 19 – Rudy Caseres: Champion for Mental Health

Rudy Caseres is a mental health advocate who lives with bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety.

“Depression Man” Wages War on Mental Illness through Laughter

As bad as my depression has been – and I’ve experienced more than 40 years of it – I have somehow, luckily, always found the magic of laughter within reach.

Police Officer PTSD & Mental Health

In this short film, Rob Davis shares his journey as a police officer who lives with trauma and PTSD.

Faith and Academia Unmask a Psychotic, Bipolar Depression

Depression tricks you into thinking that you are completely alone when, in fact, you are the opposite. No one is truly alone.

8 Accounts Featuring Recovery with Anxiety on Instagram

We’re always looking for mental health empowerment in unsuspecting places, and today we’re featuring feeds focused around the diagnosis of anxiety on Instagram.

Episode 18 – Libby Parker; Changing the LGBTQ+ Mental Health Landscape

Mx. Libby Parker, MSS, LSW is an outpatient therapist and manager of Einstein Health Network’s PRIDE Program, which coordinates and supports various services designed to meet the unique needs of LGBTQ+ identified patients.

The Trauma of Not Being Traumatized Enough

All my life, the media had taught me that, in order to suffer from mental illness, you had to endure some kind of a severe trauma. That was incorrect.

Episode 17– Bipolar Disorder, Family, and Love

The memoir “Gorilla and the Bird” discusses how bipolar disorder affects work, family, and relationships. Podcast interview with Zack and his mom, Cindy.

Becoming Your Own Best Friend for Your Mental Health

When it comes to mental health, how we can become our own best friend in 2018? Here’s what we came up with. Happy New Year to you, friend.

Anxiety Twitter Accounts That Empathize, Educate, and Entertain

In this installment of our Mental Health Resources column, we’re covering the best of anxiety Twitter accounts. As always, OC87 Recovery Diaries is committed to our shared cause to #buststigma around mental health issues.

Episode 16 – Comedian and TV Personality Paul Gilmartin on Podcasting, PTSD, and Coping with Trauma

Host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, Paul Gilmartin has come a long way since doing stand-up comedy and hosting the TV show, Dinner and a Movie.

Herbie The Love Bug: Depression & Recovery

“I was hoping that Herbie The Love Bug would bring us some joy.” — Gabriel Nathan, Editor in Chief of OC87 Recovery Diaries

Anxiety, Depression, and Motherhood Mental Health

As I lie in bed, my thoughts spiral saying, “You’re a horrible mother. You’re a horrible writer. You’re a horrible person.”

Episode 15 – Mental Health and Madness in 19th Century America

How were individuals with mental illness treated in 19th century psychiatric hospitals? What was society’s attitude towards these people?

From Mental Health Institutionalization to Advocacy

A journey from dark days of mental health institutionalization and repeated electroconvulsive therapy treatments, to a successful advocacy career.

Finding My Faith Despite Losing My Mind

On losing my mind with bipolar disorder, the bottom line is this: I need to take my medication, no matter how much faith I possess.

5 Standout Depression-Related Facebook Pages

Depression Facebook pages that share genuinely different content while still all speaking to what it can be like to live with depression.

One Step Away: A Film about PTSD, Homelessness, and Redemption

Tammy is one of about 60 people who sell One Step Away, Philadelphia’s first newspaper produced by those without homes for those with homes.

How the Westminster Dog Show Helped Me Let Go of My Anxiety and Celebrate (And You Can Too)

“What could go wrong for someone who has panic attacks in large crowds at an event regularly attended by 20,000 people?” — Sheila Hageman

Episode 14 – “The Hunting Ground”: Recovering from Sexual Assault – an Interview with Documentary Film Subject, Kamilah Willingham

Interview with Kamilah Willingham, a subject of the documentary film, “The Hunting Ground.”

Depression Does Not Discriminate: A Mental Health Essay from Ireland

Depression tricks you into thinking that you are completely alone when, in fact, you are the opposite. No one is truly alone.

A Soldier Comes Home, and a Battle with Mental Illness Begins

The doctors recommended that I receive an Honorable Discharge from the Army with a 100% Disability Rating: not what I had planned for my life.

Therapist Winden Rowe Talks About Trauma and Mental Health in the Armed Forces

Winden Rowe’s approach to sustained recovery for clients centers around the biological, psychological, and social implications of traumatic stress.

Episode 13 – Dr. Kristin Neff and the Art of Self-Compassion

Dr. Kristin Neff is a pioneer in the study and practice of self-compassion. What is self-compassion? Listen in to this podcast episode to find out.

Living with and Managing Bipolar Disorder

Managing bipolar disorder behavior involves more than medications. Changes in mood are affected by factors in our environment.

The Big Scare: My Anxiety Disorder Story

A therapist writes with humor and passion about her struggles with panic attacks, generalized anxiety disorder, and an eating disorder.

OCD Videos on YouTube: What it’s Like to Live with this Diagnosis

As we seek to #buststigma around mental illness, this installment of our mental health resources column highlights OCD videos on YouTube that we love.

Episode 12 – From Nigeria to the U.S. — A Journey with Anxiety and Depression

Adesola Ogunleye, a Nigerian American immigrant who lives with depression and anxiety, is interviewed on this episode of OC87 Recovery Diaries on the Radio.

Running is Useless: Becoming a Therapist is the Therapy I Needed

This was not exactly the learning I wanted when I went to graduate school, but the lifelong journey of becoming a therapist, is the therapy I have needed.

Dating with Schizophrenia

Despite getting progressively better at social interaction, dating with schizophrenia is just too much and, every time I try, I crash and burn.

Episode 11 – An Interview with Gabriel Nathan: Editor in Chief

“When you make a choice to put yourself out there, you’re empowering yourself — and you’re empowering others.” – Gabriel Nathan

The Push and Pull of Depression

Still, I resisted. For several years, I didn’t want to accept that the push and pull of depression was a permanent part of me.

The Media’s Obsession with the Mental Illness Scapegoat

The media is so quick to pick up the mental illness scapegoat because it knows that people need to blame the tragedy on something.

Bipolar Disorder: Never Giving Up

There is only one thing that gets me through the bipolar cycles and that is time. It is a cliché but, during my cycles, the only way is through.

6 Bipolar Disorder Instagram Accounts That Are Busting Mental Health Stigma

Today we’re showcasing bipolar disorder Instagram accounts that enrich the way we understand what it’s like to live with this diagnosis.

Episode 10 – An Autism, Asperger’s Doctor with a Son on the Spectrum

Dr. Robert Naseef can’t alter the fact that he has a son on the spectrum, but he has evolved in the ways in which he copes with his son’s disability.

A Screenwriter’s Story – Living With Autism

Reed would love to see a dramatic feature that explores a wide range of experiences of characters who live with autism – not just supporting characters.

Traveling With Depression

After traveling with depression, I know that I am a powerful being who overcame the dragon blowing fire into my brain. I fought, and I won.

Disclosing Through Writing About Mental Health

I keep publishing because people say my writing about mental health has shed light onto something they have had a lot of trouble understanding.

Sex and Depression: A Sex Educator Explores Her Own Diagnosis

I focus my work on helping folks navigate sex and depression on their own and with their partners so that everyone feels supported and safe.

Episode 9 – The Psychiatrist’s Daughter

On this episode of OC87 Recovery Diaries on the Radio, we talk about parenting, therapy, and self-care from the perspective of a psychiatrist’s daughter.

Book Review: An Urgent, Bold Voice Emerges from the “Manic Kingdom”

Dr. Erin K. Stair’s new book, Manic Kingdom, is a “harrowing, breathless, and beautiful journey” that will leave you spellbound.

Obsessions and Addictions: Transformation and Transcendence

I am plagued with obsessions and addictions. On default I use mental compulsions (avoidance, reassurance seeking, mental rituals, etc.) to seek relief.

Bumps and Valleys of the Therapeutic Process

Therapy can change lives, though there are bumps and valleys in the therapeutic process. I’ve found it makes for a happier state of being in the long run.

The Blended Shades of Depression

This disassociated state, where you plan your death as though you were planning Tuesday night’s dinner, is one of the many shades of depression.

5 Twitter Accounts That Help Explain Life with Schizophrenia

A round-up focusing on schizophrenia Twitter accounts that serve our community through education, empowerment, and meaningful engagement.

Start Climbing: When Major Depression Takes Hold

I should probably explain a few things. I’m not crazy. I suffer from major depression, as well as generalized anxiety disorder. I’m basically a shut-in.

A Psychologist Helps You Retrain Your Brain

Laura Farrell reviews Seth Gillihan’s book, Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks, an interactive guide to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Episode 8 – A Bengali American Woman’s Bipolar Journey

Bengali Mental Health – Fahmina Ahmed says she’s experiencing many more highs and lows in her bipolar disorder because of the volatile political climate.

Hard Lessons When You Have Mental Illness

Stepping away reminds you that you are human; another hard lesson. It took me years to realize that I am a valid human being despite my illness.

Wrestling with Obsessive Thoughts About Everyday Encounters

how an everyday encounter with a stranger on the street can morph into a paralyzing prison-like mental trap of repetitive, obsessive thoughts.

Episode 7 – The Effects of Bullying on Mental Health in High School

A guidance counselor and student share their views on the issue of bullying, mental health in high school, and way to deal with the whole problem.

Finding Work and Making Money as a Person with Mental Illness

After being diagnosed with a serious, chronic illness like schizophrenia, it’s hard to find any purpose in life, including finding work with mental illness.

The Bottom of the World: Living with Bipolar in Australia

People are now openly talking about having depression or anxiety — BUT NOT BIPOLAR: I believe that the word bipolar in Australia is still scary.

5 Depression TED Talks That Entertain, Educate, and Empower

These five depression TED Talks share our agenda to inspire, build bridges, and bring light to the shadow that enshrouds mental health challenges.

Episode 6 – Mental Health in Comedy

Comedians Robert Ecks and Jacquie Baker discuss the complicated ways in which mental health is impacted by comedy, and how the two can go hand in hand.

Disclosing Your Mental Illness

Disclosing your mental illness has costs and benefits, but the thing to remember is that, while it’s a tricky choice, it is most definitely a choice.

Giving Mental Health Stories “The Red Carpet Treatment”

This short video explores the richness of our website and the many ways we share mental health stories of hope and recovery.

Episode 5 – Talking About Grief and Loss, with Social Worker Nancy Willis

Laura and Bud interview clinical social worker, Nancy Willis, about the tragic loss of her son Alex at the age of nineteen in a car accident.

My Experience Inside a Psychiatric Hospital

Say the words “psychiatric hospital” to the average person and the hair on the back of their neck might stand straight up.

Don’t. TOUCH. ANYTHING! A Story of Anxiety, Obsession, and the Museum Police

I put a lot of thought into how to make the web-series Katie and Shaun responsibly. The portrayal of anxiety and depression is true to my experience.

Dancing Through Mental Illness with an Eating Disorder

My eating disorder lied, denying any inquiry that there was something wrong. After residential treatment I did outpatient with a dance movement therapist.

Make Connections on These PTSD Facebook Pages

These PTSD Facebook pages speak to the specific challenges and lived experiences of this diagnosis to #buststigma, foster community, and create change.

Waves of Ennui and Depression

I start to feel a bit of ennui, a French word meaning, “general malaise.” This can go on for a while until the ennui surrounds me and depression sets in.

Episode 4 – An Interview with Mental Health Advocate and Certified Peer Specialist, Michael Solomon

Podcast interview with mental health advocate, certified peer specialist, and author, Michael Solomon who lives with bipolar disorder.

Music Video: When Anxiety & Panic Attacks are Your Kinfolk

In 2006 I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks and depersonalization. At the time, I was actively pursuing a career in music.

The Tenuous Balance of Mental Health Stability

Maintaining mental health stability is a delicate dance that, at times, can be very unstable and can cause some serious trouble if you fall.

4 Videos About How to Live a Healthy Life with Mental Illness

Four one-minute videos about mental health turning points, those moments when life shifted towards a healthy future living with a mental illness.

Episode 3 – An Interview with Documentary Filmmaker Glenn Holsten

Glenn Holsten discusses the making of his mental health documentary film, Hollywood Beauty Salon.

When We Were Small: An Intense Struggle with Depression

I will always struggle with depression, but finally I feel I am done clearing the land and am ready to plant the seeds that will become new growth.

What is “OC87” Anyway?

“OC87” is a term coined by one of my therapists. It refers to the year 1987: the year I wanted to control everyone and everything.

22 Mental Health Podcasts

In celebration of our new podcast, we’ve rounded up 22 mental health podcasts that are doing their part to #buststigma around mental illness.

Everything Will Kill You: Anxiety, Fear & Shame Onstage

I wrote a song called “Everything Will Kill You” inspired by all the times that I’ve fearfully prepared myself for tragedies that have never actually happened.

Episode 2 – Art and Mental Health: Can They Co-Exist, or Must They Compete?

Bud and Laura interview Philadelphia artists Abby Squire and Rosie Carlson about how art and mental health affect one another.

An Hour of Mental Health Short Films on PBS station WHYY

A collection of beautifully told short stories that inspire, empower, and generate discussion and awareness in an effort to #buststigma.

Finding Stability: A Path Towards a Better Life with Schizophrenia

Finding stability with a mental illness, like anything else worthwhile, takes time, effort, and openness to learning, and failing.

Listening: My Time in a Psych Ward

Perhaps it is important to talk about how I ended up in a psych ward and how I ended up having an earache. I can explain pieces of the first thing.

Episode 1 – Trauma, EMDR Therapy, and Asperger’s Syndrome

In the first episode of OC87 Recovery Diaries on the Radio, join Laura Farrell and Bud Clayman as they interview each other about their own mental health journeys.

The Side-Effects of Side-Effects

Living with schizophrenia, I’ve been through the full gamut of side-effects. New side-effects pop up to say “hello” with each medication I’m prescribed.

A Bipolar Diagnosis: A Life’s Mission Revealed

After my bipolar diagnosis I got married, got divorced, lost my job due to the stigma of mental illness, and attend two assisted outpatient hospital programs.

A Bipolar Diagnosis: Suicide Watch

“Honey, I will be checking on you every fifteen minutes.” I stared at her, puzzled, until she leveled me with a four-word gut punch: “You’re on suicide watch.”

7 of our Favorite OCD Twitter Accounts

A round-up of smart, empowering, and engaging OCD Twitter accounts who share our mission to #buststigma around mental illness.

The Religious Component of Psychosis

When I was deep in the midst of a psychotic break, I was convinced that I was a prophet sent from God to save society from its ills.

A Letter to Niyyah: Trauma Under the Bridge

Now, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, the cycle is broken.

Talking About My Depression

I’m talking about my depression, not in vague terms any longer. It is a problem. It has a name. My boys know that name and I hope they’ll be stronger for it.

The Ridiculousness of Your Delusions

Living with schizophrenia, I’ve experienced all manner of delusions about the way I think the way things are, and the way they actually are.

Mental Health & Writing: A Bad Son Letter to the World

It all hearkens back to storytelling, to this desire we have to relate something. To let people know who we are, or were, or wish we were, or fear we are.

10 Moving & Powerful Depression Videos

This post is a round up of depression videos that have us feeling educated, moved, and empowered to continue sharing mental health recovery stories.

Schizophrenia and Love

Love can be the gasoline on schizophrenia’s fire, playing tricks on your mind and it can lead you to places from which you may not be able to return.

Losing My Job, Keeping My Mental Health

The severity of my depression in the wake of losing my job solidified the notion that, for people with mental illness, having a job can make all the difference.

Mental Health at the Mic: Childhood, Loneliness, and Suicide

This is the third in a series of videos of men who have participated in the Philadelphia’s Engaging Males of Color BEyond Expectations storytelling project.

The Light Switch Effect of Stress

The effect of stress is serious to your mental health. It’s easy to fall into delusional holes if your stress level gets to a point that isn’t manageable.

Beginning Therapy; Being Vulnerable

People say the first step in therapy is acceptance. I can’t speak for others, but I’ve started taking my steps. It’s okay if you want to take yours.

8 Mental Health Instagram Accounts You Should Know About

Be sure to follow us @OC87rd on Instagram and check out these other accounts who inspire us daily in the mental health Instagram community.

Taking Care of Yourself with Mental Illness

Taking care of yourself with mental illness requires some fortitude, especially in the face of a mountain of paranoia, delusions and hallucinations.

Disclosure

Disclosure is about feeling safe enough to find a kinder voice for ourselves. Every time I share my experiences in safe spaces I feel truer to myself.

Mental Health at the Mic: A Veteran’s Story

A veteran of the United States Army, Russell lives with PTSD, something that affects his daily life. Watch these videos about veteran’s mental health.

When to Pull Back When You’re Living With Mental Illness

Pulling back and regaining stability is complicated but it will help exponentially help in the long journey of living with mental illness.

My Body, My Eating Disorder, My Recovery

In my eating disorder, I loved to push myself, to bring my body to the edge and watch which way it fell. More liquor, more dancing, more starving.

How Past Trauma Informs You as a Mental Healthcare Worker

Christa Godillot is a Registered Nurse at a private, non-profit crisis psychiatric hospital. In this interview she talks about her career and life.

The Family and Schizophrenia

Family is the most important thing for a person with mental illness. We need support and validation that we are not alone in the world

A Nurse at an Inpatient Mental Health Hospital Tells Her Story

We shine the spotlight on the individuals who help folks along on that road of recovery including mental health professionals, like Christa Godillot, RN.

A Mental Health Advocate Sends Love and Light to the World

Sitawa Wafula is a Kenyan mental health blogger and advocate for people living with mental health conditions and their families.

Persistence of Schizophrenic Delusions

Schizophrenia is an insidious disease. Schizophrenic delusions are persistent, which is one of the major reasons recovery can take such a long time.

New Editor In Chief

It is with great pleasure that I announce the appointment of Gabriel Nathan as editor in chief of OC87 Recovery Diaries.

Mental Health at the Mic: Christian A’Xavier Lovehall

This video post features the stories of Christian A’Xavier Lovehall, a transgender man who talks about his mental health journey.

Mental Health Wish List

What is your mental health “wish list” for yourself in 2017? How would you like to grow personally? Where will you look for inspiration and strength?

Making Random Connections When You Have Schizophrenia

One of the things people with schizophrenia do that isn’t that widely understood is the tendency to make connections out of seemingly random things.

Mental Health & Law Enforcement: There Is Definitely An Answer

Jeff Shannon is veteran police officer and a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist. He specializes in mental health-related calls within the police department.

Why Mental Health Recovery Can Take Years

The only advice I give is to be there and, above all else, give it time. Time is truly the only thing that can heal in situations like these.

Mental Health & Law Enforcement: Interview With Jeff Shannon

Jeff Shannon talks about mental health for police officers as well as the extra training required for responding to mental health related calls.

An Orphan’s Memorial to Her Dying Mother

Sheri Heller is a powerful survivor who now helps others who have experienced trauma. This short film shares her journey with a mom who had schizophrenia.

It’s Time To Talk, Then Reflect, Then Grow

I don’t know if my depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder will ever go away.

Dr. Otto Wahl on Busting Stigma Around Mental Illness

Dr. Otto Wahl has some intriguing thoughts about a new direction for study to tackle stigma within the mental health field itself.

Delusions Of Grandeur With Schizophrenia

Delusions of grandeur are part of the experience of psychosis. It’s ok if you’re a little crazy. You’re certainly not alone.

Dr. Otto Wahl on Mental Illness & Stereotypes

In the US we can talk about cancer, asthma, heart disease without worry of recrimination. Can the same be said for talking about a mental illness diagnosis?

Q&A with Alison Malmon, Founder of Active Minds

Active Minds was founded by Alison Malmon when she was a junior at the University of Pennsylvania, following the suicide of her older brother, Brian.

Schizophrenia & Talking To God

There are nights where I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling and I ask for help. Sometimes the voice comes; sometimes it doesn’t. By now, I’m used to it.

Mental Health Workers Brought Together by “Our Town” Reunion

It’s hard to know how a play can change your life, but, just two years later, I found out.

Schizophrenia & Hearing Mysterious Voices

If you’re having trouble with schizophrenia and voices, first, try to recognize the reality, that the voices are just a chemical imbalance.

The Downside of Empathy

Narcissism begets hyper-empathy: narcissistic parents produce children who become attuned to the emotional states of their caretakers in order to survive.

I Have Schizophrenia

Yes, I have schizophrenia. But I don’t want to sit around feeling sorry for myself because I have schizophrenia, and life can be difficult sometimes.

Mike Veny: “An Interview With My Depression”

“I’d really love to interview my depression,” Mike said. And we were off. Watch Mike Veny do the (near) impossible: interview his depression.

What Schizophrenic Psychosis Feels Like

Psychosis is defined as a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.

Mike Veny: Mental Health Recovery, Music & Advocacy

Mike Veny is an advocate who speaks boldly about his journey with mental health. Mike Veny is also a lifesaver. The first life he saved was his own.

The Pain of Being Labeled Crazy

The pain of being labeled crazy doesn’t present itself as one big sweeping hurt, more like a series of small little jabs as you go through your days.

We’re All Mad Here: Claire Eastham & Anxiety Recovery

“Here’s my first and most important piece of advice: YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THAT YOU HAVE A MENTAL CONDITION.” – Claire Eastham on anxiety disorder recovery

Bipolar-ish: Q&A with Musician Deidre Young

“My medicine is my music. When it gets too bad, I’ve got to sit down and do my music.” – Deidre Young a.k.a. H-Town Butta, creator of the song “Bipolar-ish.”

Danielle Hark & The Broken Light Collective

Danielle Hark created Broken Light Collective, a website for photographers from all over the world who are living with or who are affected by mental illness.

Schizophrenia Symptoms in Relationships

Schizophrenia Symptoms in Relationships – I’ve struggled with so many different complications, nuances, symptoms, side-effects and annoyances.

Ten Years Since My Bipolar Disorder Breakdown

It’s been exactly ten years since my bipolar disorder breakdown. These years have been hard work but they have brought tremendous joy and peace

Seeing Stars: Meg Hutchinson & Bipolar Disorder

My name is Meg Hutchinson. I’m 38 years old. I’m a singer-songwriter and poet. I’ve been living with bipolar disorder since I was 19 years old.

Having Hope After Being Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

Shireda was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That solved some of the confusion. Support at The Attic, an LGBTQ youth center, and Horizon House helped next.

In Discovery With Bipolar Disorder

It took a year for me to find the courage to google “bipolar disorder.” On some level I knew I needed professional help, but there were a lot of risks.

A Lifetime of Secrets Living With Bipolar Disorder

I’m at peace with the fact that I unlocked my secrets about living with bipolar disorder. I’m not the first one to be bipolar, and won’t be the last.

OCD or The Art of Self-Humiliation

I have learned the tools and techniques with which to deal with the many facets of my OCD, including being able to laugh at it once in a while.

Father Figures, Forgiveness & Mental Health Recovery

Voices of young black men are often misunderstood. This video with 15-year-old Jaywan explores forgiveness and mental health recovery with mentor Levi Lee.

Seasons of Depression & Kevin Breel

“Real depression isn’t being sad when something in your life goes wrong. Real depression is being sad when everything in your life is going right.” – Kevin Breel

Gabby Frost: Teens, Technology & Mental Health

Founder of Buddy Project, teenager Gabby Frost, wanted to connect people who might need a friend because, “no one deserves to feel alone.”

Hospitalized for a “Break From Reality”

Being hospitalized for a “break from reality” is a part of my history, and it does not define me. I can understand this with distance from the experience.

Darryl’s Bipolar Disorder Recovery at COMHAR & Beyond

Darryl Armour was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at an early age. His story includes residential treatment programs, incarceration, and recovery at COMHAR.

Life With Depression After Hospitalization

The hardest part of life with depression and the recovery journey is realizing that maybe you’ll never reach the end. Maybe the journey is the destination.

Hospitalized For Depression: No Regrets

I’ve been hospitalized for depression so thick and so bad, my doctors didn’t think it was safe for me to go anywhere else.

The Silent Scream: Coping With Depression

I hope, in reading my story about coping with depression, you will be strengthened in your own journey and feel comforted that you are not alone.

Battling Depression, Once In A Lifetime (Hopefully)

It felt like I got hit by a truck. Immobilized. Debilitated. That basically sums up my experience battling depression. It has been a long struggle.

A Certified Peer Specialist Living With PTSD

Brenda Lewis is now a Certified Peer Specialist who helps other people find resources along this journey so they won’t have such a difficult time.

ACLU’s Witold Walczak on Mental Health & Prison Reform

An interview with Witold Walczak, the legal director for the ACLU of Pennsylvania about mental health and prison reform.

Living With Schizophrenia

Living with schizophrenia has made me aware of this fact: I have a mental illness that causes me to question the reality of things.

The Letter To Mother: PTSD, Anxiety & Major Depression

I am still in the process of healing from PTSD, anxiety, and major depression with the help of a psychiatrist, a therapist, and the love of my life.

Once Upon A Time: PTSD, Anxiety & Major Depression

Recently, I underwent a slight psychological break. Determined to claw my way out of the darkness, I began to write about my journey and experiences.

A Molecular Biologist With Bipolar 1 Disorder

I have a wonderful life. But I would be lying if I didn’t say it has been a hard fought one. I suffer from bipolar 1 disorder. Here is my story.

Hearing Voices With Berta Britz

For years I didn’t question hearing voices. I felt powerless. I was just at their mercy. I think recovery is about reconnecting with who we are.

Berta Britz On Creating Increased Connections

Berta Britz shares her perspectives on mental health, hearing voices, relationships, recovery, and friendship in this two-part interview.

Not For The Faint of Heart: Recovering From Co-Occurring Illnesses

Bipolar disorder and alcoholism left me exhausted and defeated. Hope came in the form of a co-occurring illnesses rehab facility.

Who Am I? A Student With OCD & Anxiety

What would you say when someone asks “Who are you?” The first word that comes to mind when I think about this question is Student. I’m a student, an academic, a professional learner for life.

Postnatal Depression: Confessions of a “Terrible” Mother

Postnatal Depression affects 1 in 10 women, yet many people still ignore or hide their symptoms. I did this, and it turned out to be a terrible idea.

Young, Black and Bipolar

“Young, Black and Bipolar” helps people navigate through the craziness of accomplishing a normal life after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

How I Accepted My Anxiety

I once heard anxiety compared to a superpower. Once I stopped being so ashamed of it, I saw that anxiety was my superpower too.

Interview With Psychiatrist Dr. Larry Real (Part 2)

There are people who will help you. There are paths to get to those goals that might have seemed unattainable for the last while.

Interview With Psychiatrist Dr. Larry Real (Part 1)

I first met Dr. Larry Real in 1992, when I was mentally sick and in a lot of emotional trouble. I had already begun to show symptoms of bipolar disorder.

A Life With Bipolar: Learning Coping Skills The Hard Way

I have bipolar disorder. Today, it is a big chunk of who I am, but thanks to these three bipolar coping skills, I know it is not the only chunk.

Suffering in Silence: Men’s Mental Health in America Today

I joke about men’s mental health because, sometimes, I don’t know what else to do. Of course, the stigma against men’s mental health is not funny.

Mental Health Recovery Stories: 2015 In Review

Another year has come to an end. I have to say that this is one of the quickest years I’ve experienced in my lifetime. Many people I’ve spoken with have felt the same way. I’m not sure why people are experiencing this phenomenon but so be it. One thing is for certain:...

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