Entries - OC87 Recovery Diaries

The (im) possibilities of love with bipolar

I should have asked for her hand in marriage, but she would have just given me the finger. I live with bipolar disorder. Once, I loved with it too.

The Mental Health of an Addict’s Mother

It is impossible to ignore the impact that a child’s addiction and mental health has on a parent. Because of this I started therapy myself, and I believe that it saved my life.

My Whirlwind Brain; Living with Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and Anxiety

I’m a thirty-seven-year-old woman who was diagnosed with bipolar, depression and anxiety at the age of twenty-two. As I look back on my life I can remember feeling anxious throughout my childhood. I grew up in a good home with loving parents, but my anxiety persisted.

Physician Mental Health & Suicide

by https://youtu.be/7qBobGOF0fs Doctors are the healers and the helpers. But what happens when it’s the doctors who need the healing and the help? An estimated 300 to 400 doctors die by suicide each year, a rate...

The Power of an Emotional Support Animal in Mental Health Recovery

Bowser and I had met when I began a rather impulsive search for someone, or something, to help alleviate my mental and emotional turmoil.

Reasons Why I Should Die – Coming Back from Teenage Suicidal Ideation

I’m writing now as a happy and fulfilled young adult. But ten years ago, I thought my life was worth ending.

When Thoughts are Sticky; Pure OCD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Though I am in recovery from generalized anxiety disorder, (GAD) that doesn’t mean I am cured, I have periods of remission and mini flare-ups.

Five Years of Sobriety: Smiling and Waving and Looking so Fine

I stopped drinking the next day. There was no plan. It was just, “I’m not drinking today, and probably not tomorrow.” Five years.

You’re Manic Bipolar – The Line Between Audience and Stage

You’re more powerful than you know. And, once you learn how to wield your powers, trust me. They’ll applaud.

2 Gabes in A Car Sharing Mental Health Stories

In addition to sharing a first name, they also share a passion for busting stigma about mental illness. Mental health advocacy brought them together, but something deeper created a connection.

Seeking Sanity Step by Step

My illness devastated me at age twenty when I was committed to a psychiatric hospital for sixty days and eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Psychosis: A Beginning. An End.

My impaired judgement was obvious even in the early days of my illness. I exhibited so many of the symptoms associated with psychosis—a substantial drop in my grades, trouble concentrating, declining hygiene, a significant weight loss, oscillating from strong emotions to a feeling of emptiness to name a few.

Is Mental Illness Your Rabbit, Too? Living with Anxiety and Depression

Not hallucinations, but rather some of the smaller and fuzzier denizens native to Cambridge, Massachusetts. There is no metaphor more fitting for the person I was back then: twitchy, easily startled, a propensity to run scared from others. I had lost all the avenues I’d had to hide from depression and anxiety, and they closed in like a pair of gangsters in an alleyway.

Depression, Anxiety, and Panic Disorder: From Daunted to Driven

I felt like a complete failure. I had always been able to handle everything without an issue. But at first, navigating depression was another story.

Tackling PTSD: Hell or High Seas

Taylor Grieger was diagnosed with complex PTSD several months after his release from the Navy with little-to-no guidance on how to cope with his condition.

A Suicide Attempt Spurs a New Life of Advocacy

One night, my mental state deteriorated to the point where I tried to end my life through a suicde attempt. It was impulsive and rash.

My Five Stages of Depression

The Five Stages of Mourning is a perfect template for my own Five Stages of Depression: Anger, Anxiety/Exhaustion, Depression, Treatment, and Recovery.

Now What?: Suicidality and Planning for an Uncertain Present

When I exhibited symptoms of C-PTSD and OCD, I was afraid and lost. I survived multiple major depressive episodes, all of them including suicidality.

Call Out Each Cloud by its Silver Lining: Life with Depression & Anxiety in India

Whenever I’d gone through stages of major depression or anxiety as a young teenager, all I’d hear was that I was stupid, lazy, and unambitious. Imagine being judged by your symptoms and not by your illness.

How to be an Active Listener

A rising number of college students are seeking treatment at campus counseling centers for serious mental health challenges. Our video features the powerful listeners from Cogwell@Penn. Watch (and learn) how they skillfully role-play as active listeners when presented with a variety of stories from friends in need.

You Just Can’t Talk to Crazy People: Bipolar, Depressed, Recovering

My psychiatrist became so annoyed with my theological nonsense that he abruptly stalked out of one session, exclaiming, “You just can’t talk to crazy people.” I sent him a note later, in which I informed him that I could talk to crazy people, so that was his problem, not mine.

Learning to Live in the Moment with Schizoaffective Disorder

Around age fifteen or sixteen, I began experimenting with drugs. I can tell you that this was, and always will be, the beginning of an ultimately fascinating journey that I call life with a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder.

How Audre Lorde’s Cancer Journals Helped Me Cope with my Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

I am determined to love and live intensely and fearlessly because, as Audre Lorde said, betraying myself into silence will not protect me.

Marriage and Mental Illness: The Ups and Downs

When you think of married life, what comes to mind? Are you in complete bliss or just plain miserable? Maybe you’re floating somewhere in between.

Treatment Resistant Depression: My Experience with Countless Interventions

I endured this routine for so long: try a new medication to alleviate my treatment resistant depression and either feel horrible or feel absolutely nothing.

A Vain & Misguided Decision: Abandoning Schizoaffective Disorder Medication

I am trying hard to make good decisions. I see my psychiatrist regularly. I take my medication. I try to live a healthy lifestyle with schizoaffective disorder.

What it Feels Like to be Passively Suicidal and Not Want to Die

The passive suicidal thoughts are still there, but I have started to recognize that they are only powerful if I give them the power.

A Clinician’s Journey from Complex Trauma to Thriving: Reflections on Abuse, C-PTSD and Reclamation

Sheri Heller’s new book, A Clinician’s Journey from Complex Trauma to Thriving, is a guide to healing with a keen awareness that no two paths are the same.

Repairing a Beautiful Life Damaged by Depression

When I finally saw a psychiatrist, she was surprised that I was still alive, having been afflicted with depression for so long without medical treatment.

Acceptance: How One Friend Helped Me Get Help for Depression and Anxiety on my Own Terms

As I battle with depression, anxiety, and PTSD, it has always been far easier for me to support others with mental health struggles than to admit my own.

Laces Out: Chokeslammed by Suicidal Thoughts & Depression

With depression, I had suicidal thoughts. Not because I wanted to kill myself, but because the idea of being “done” felt like serenity.

Worth a Thousand Words: Mental Health in Pictures

These images of mental in pictures are not what the public wants people to show. They are reality. They are dirty, messy, uninhibited, and true.

Making Peace with Persistent Depressive Disorder

Persistent depressive disorder (formerly known as dysthymic disorder or dysthymia) is just what it sounds like: depression that persists.

Lilah James: Complex PTSD Recovery on the Runway

A complex PTSD diagnosis became inspiration for a fashion designer’s runway line. In Glenn Holsten’s short film, Lilah James shares recovery and creativity.

My Social (Anxiety) Life Online

Social anxiety still exists online. You’re still putting yourself out there and you feel vulnerable opening up, not knowing what response you’ll get.

More Mental Health Accounts to Follow on Instagram

This installment of our mental health resources column highlights Instagram mental health from authors who have appeared on OC87 Recovery Diaries.

How I Recovered from a Disorder I Had Never Heard of – Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures

In my research, I found several articles about Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures. Doctors do not use the term pseudo-seizures anymore because it falsifies them and invalidates them. Pseudo is a prefix meaning “false” or “fake,” and the seizures I was having, while not epileptic, were anything but fake.

Time to Get Clean: Fatherhood and OCD

I feel like I need complicated charts, graphs, and spreadsheets to adequately explain how big of a failure I am as a brand new stay-at-home dad.

I’m Just Tired: When You Dismiss Depression

“I can’t explain where I’ve been, and though everyone wants to understand, it doesn’t mean they comprehend. They can’t grasp where I am.” – Kathryn Rose Wood

The Danger of Getting Stuck in the Identity and Drama of Childhood Trauma

Experiencing childhood trauma, I knew that something was wrong or different about me, but for a long time I dismissed that notion.

Anxiety Facebook Pages – Mental Health Recovery Accounts to Follow Now

This month’s installment of our mental health resources column is centered on anxiety Facebook pages, including a few pages with one to two million followers.

From Depressed and Suicidal to a New Outlook

I went from unhappy to miserable to struggling to overwhelmed to depressed and suicidal. First I was diagnosed with post-natal depression, followed by treatment-resistant clinical depression. Then came the biggest clanger of all, diagnosis number three: borderline personality disorder.

The Performance of Life: A Son with Bipolar Remembers his Father

My father’s compassion when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder was unreal and unexpected. Importantly, he was engaged in his own efforts to better understand what life is like for a son with bipolar disorder by seeking out support groups.

How Bipolar Support Groups Helped Change My Life

It took months of internal debate before I worked up the courage and the desire to at least give the depression and bipolar support groups a shot.

Unforgotten – Marlboro State Psychiatric Hospital

A few months ago, I saw a photo on Facebook of a cemetery in Marlboro, New Jersey. The cemetery was on the grounds where the Marlboro State Psychiatric Hospital once stood, and was the place where people who were once residents of the hospital were laid to rest.

Painting My Roses Red – Navigating Recovery

Groggy. Always groggy. Part bored, part feeling down. Seems I always have habits I either need to break or start—when I can get around to it. Maybe tomorrow, after my 8:30am nap.

5 Depression Twitter Accounts for Community, Resources, and Encouragement

This installment of our mental health resources column focuses on depression Twitter accounts including DBSA, Sad Girls Club, Heads Up Guys, Natasha Tracy, and Depression Notes.

Bipolar Disorder and PTSD – How I Accepted My Mental Illness Before it had a Name

Before I had a name for my mental illness — bipolar disorder and ptsd — this is what it felt like: playing diagnosis dress-up, trying on labels, seeing how they fit, and feeling lost — like there was nothing left in my closet to wear.

Review – Rock Steady: Brilliant Advice from my Bipolar Life

Ellen Forney has written a second graphic novel, Rock Steady: Brilliant Advice from my Bipolar Life, which leads the reader through her healing process.

Kevin Hines Teaches Us That Being Well is an Art in Suicide: The Ripple Effect

In Suicide: The Ripple Effect, Kevin Hines recounts the tale of his suicide attempt when he was nineteen years old, and then embarks on a journey to offer hope to others who may be struggling, and to hear stories from mental health advocates like him.

Hunting for Ninjas: When Trauma and Addiction are Hiding in the Dark

They say when you experience a traumatic experience as a child, you block out the details. My memory jumps.

Glowing on the Outside; Crumbling Inside – Depression, Anxiety and Motherhood

I failed the postpartum screening given, as protocol, by the hospital, and yet they sent me home.

Get Used to Life Without Me: A Dispassionate Road to Suicide with Depression

I crossed seamlessly from ambivalence and malaise into an area I’d never been before: actively planning suicide.

After I Destroyed Myself: Fast and Furious with Bipolar Disorder and Addiction

I’m not an expert on mental health, addiction, or suicide. I’m a survivor.

Life with OCD on Instagram – 5 OCD Instagram Accounts to Follow Now

These five OCD Instagram accounts show different perspectives on what it’s like to live with obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Playing Hide and Seek with a Demon: My Struggle with Anxiety

I don’t know when it started. It was not as though I suddenly woke up with a raging heartbeat and butterflies in my stomach, wishing I could run away from myself. It came in tiny bits of worry.

Walking the Border: The Delicate Dance of OCD and Borderline

Yes, I have been diagnosed with depression, OCD and borderline personality disorder. Yet, I am still a good person.

Addiction and Anxiety – My Poetic Recovery

Trapped between fear and anxiety, I would drink and use drugs to cover up my feelings. After years of living this way with several bad trips, blackouts and hospitalizations, I went into treatment.

Transcending the Pain of Schizoaffective Disorder

Schizoaffective bipolar type is a disease characterized by mood swings and depression, in addition to psychosis, delusions, and paranoia.

Bipolar Disorder on Facebook – 5 Accounts to Follow

This post highlights bipolar disorder on Facebook. Check out these accounts, give @oc87rd a follow on Facebook, and be sure to explore the related links in this post.

Cumulative PTSD for a Police Officer After 9/11

This video features Officer Ron Griffith, formerly of the NYPD. After 9/11, Ron’s personality shifted. He became a controlling, angry person. He says he wasn’t aware of this change until his family left him, and all he was left with cumulative PTSD.

Mental Health Silent Retreats Have Changed My Recovery Story

Mental health silent retreats have been an important tool in my recovery. They have allowed me to forgive, heal, and gain clarity.

The Homeless Gospel Choir, Punk Rock, and My Mental Health Journey

I started writing songs about my feelings and sharing them with audiences throughout the country as a touring musician, under the name The Homeless Gospel Choir.

You Are Not Alone: Inside My OCD Brain

Therapists have told me that I use these repetitive behaviors as way to avoid facing my fears.

Episode 21 – A Talk with Psych Central Podcast Host, Gabe Howard

Podcast interview with PsychCentral.com podcast host, Gabe Howard, who suffers from bipolar disorder, but is in recovery.

Growing Pains with a PTSD Diagnosis

A memory, a word, a smell, an instance can take one back to the exact moment the trauma first spoke to them.

Bipolar Disorder Videos on YouTube

by I host a monologue in my head all day long, as I assume most people do; I run through my to-do lists, organize my tasks at hand, and guide myself through my own emotional reactions. These are the types of...

Beneath the Vest: Police Officer Alcoholism, Mental Health & Recovery

Joe has wrestled with alcoholism and the stresses of life as a police officer, a sometimes combustible combination.

Challenges of Writing a Bipolar Book When You Have Bipolar

I have bipolar disorder and I’ve written a book about my experience living with bipolar disorder and depression.

Episode 20 – Psychologist Maury Joseph, PsyD: A Therapist with a Unique Approach

A podcast interview with psychologist Maury Joseph, PsyD. Maury is different from most psychologists in that he “gets out of the way of his patients.”

Married… with Bipolar Disorder: One Couple’s Unique Mental Health Perspective

Gabe lives with bipolar disorder and Kendall lives with Gabe, who lives with bipolar disorder so, in a way; Kendall does most definitely “live” with bipolar disorder.

With Depression, Love Won’t Save Me

“I wrote the song “Becoming” about giving my mental health adequate attention and care, even while in a relationship.” — Emily Yacina

Episode 19 – Rudy Caseres: Champion for Mental Health

Rudy Caseres is a mental health advocate who lives with bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety.

“Depression Man” Wages War on Mental Illness through Laughter

As bad as my depression has been – and I’ve experienced more than 40 years of it – I have somehow, luckily, always found the magic of laughter within reach.

Police Officer PTSD & Mental Health

In this short film, Rob Davis shares his journey as a police officer who lives with trauma and PTSD.

Faith and Academia Unmask a Psychotic, Bipolar Depression

Depression tricks you into thinking that you are completely alone when, in fact, you are the opposite. No one is truly alone.

8 Accounts Featuring Recovery with Anxiety on Instagram

We’re always looking for mental health empowerment in unsuspecting places, and today we’re featuring feeds focused around the diagnosis of anxiety on Instagram.

Episode 18 – Libby Parker; Changing the LGBTQ+ Mental Health Landscape

Mx. Libby Parker, MSS, LSW is an outpatient therapist and manager of Einstein Health Network’s PRIDE Program, which coordinates and supports various services designed to meet the unique needs of LGBTQ+ identified patients.

The Trauma of Not Being Traumatized Enough

All my life, the media had taught me that, in order to suffer from mental illness, you had to endure some kind of a severe trauma. That was incorrect.

Episode 17– Bipolar Disorder, Family, and Love

The memoir “Gorilla and the Bird” discusses how bipolar disorder affects work, family, and relationships. Podcast interview with Zack and his mom, Cindy.

Becoming Your Own Best Friend for Your Mental Health

When it comes to mental health, how we can become our own best friend in 2018? Here’s what we came up with. Happy New Year to you, friend.

Anxiety Twitter Accounts That Empathize, Educate, and Entertain

In this installment of our Mental Health Resources column, we’re covering the best of anxiety Twitter accounts. As always, OC87 Recovery Diaries is committed to our shared cause to #buststigma around mental health issues.

Episode 16 – Comedian and TV Personality Paul Gilmartin on Podcasting, PTSD, and Coping with Trauma

Host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, Paul Gilmartin has come a long way since doing stand-up comedy and hosting the TV show, Dinner and a Movie.

Herbie The Love Bug: Depression & Recovery

“I was hoping that Herbie The Love Bug would bring us some joy.” — Gabriel Nathan, Editor in Chief of OC87 Recovery Diaries

Anxiety, Depression, and Motherhood Mental Health

As I lie in bed, my thoughts spiral saying, “You’re a horrible mother. You’re a horrible writer. You’re a horrible person.”

Episode 15 – Mental Health and Madness in 19th Century America

How were individuals with mental illness treated in 19th century psychiatric hospitals? What was society’s attitude towards these people?

From Mental Health Institutionalization to Advocacy

A journey from dark days of mental health institutionalization and repeated electroconvulsive therapy treatments, to a successful advocacy career.

Finding My Faith Despite Losing My Mind

On losing my mind with bipolar disorder, the bottom line is this: I need to take my medication, no matter how much faith I possess.

5 Standout Depression-Related Facebook Pages

Depression Facebook pages that share genuinely different content while still all speaking to what it can be like to live with depression.

One Step Away: A Film about PTSD, Homelessness, and Redemption

Tammy is one of about 60 people who sell One Step Away, Philadelphia’s first newspaper produced by those without homes for those with homes.

How the Westminster Dog Show Helped Me Let Go of My Anxiety and Celebrate (And You Can Too)

“What could go wrong for someone who has panic attacks in large crowds at an event regularly attended by 20,000 people?” — Sheila Hageman

Episode 14 – “The Hunting Ground”: Recovering from Sexual Assault – an Interview with Documentary Film Subject, Kamilah Willingham

Interview with Kamilah Willingham, a subject of the documentary film, “The Hunting Ground.”

Categories:

Diagnoses:

Busting mental health stigma, one story at a time.

Get our weekly email for new recovery stories.

You have Successfully Subscribed!