Entries - OC87 Recovery Diaries

Psychosis: A Beginning. An End.

My impaired judgement was obvious even in the early days of my illness. I exhibited so many of the symptoms associated with psychosis—a substantial drop in my grades, trouble concentrating, declining hygiene, a significant weight loss, oscillating from strong emotions to a feeling of emptiness to name a few.

Is Mental Illness Your Rabbit, Too? Living with Anxiety and Depression

Not hallucinations, but rather some of the smaller and fuzzier denizens native to Cambridge, Massachusetts. There is no metaphor more fitting for the person I was back then: twitchy, easily startled, a propensity to run scared from others. I had lost all the avenues I’d had to hide from depression and anxiety, and they closed in like a pair of gangsters in an alleyway.

Tackling PTSD: Hell or High Seas

Taylor Grieger was diagnosed with complex PTSD several months after his release from the Navy with little-to-no guidance on how to cope with his condition.

My Five Stages of Depression

The Five Stages of Mourning is a perfect template for my own Five Stages of Depression: Anger, Anxiety/Exhaustion, Depression, Treatment, and Recovery.

How to be an Active Listener

A rising number of college students are seeking treatment at campus counseling centers for serious mental health challenges. Our video features the powerful listeners from Cogwell@Penn. Watch (and learn) how they skillfully role-play as active listeners when presented with a variety of stories from friends in need.

You Just Can’t Talk to Crazy People: Bipolar, Depressed, Recovering

My psychiatrist became so annoyed with my theological nonsense that he abruptly stalked out of one session, exclaiming, “You just can’t talk to crazy people.” I sent him a note later, in which I informed him that I could talk to crazy people, so that was his problem, not mine.

My Social (Anxiety) Life Online

Social anxiety still exists online. You’re still putting yourself out there and you feel vulnerable opening up, not knowing what response you’ll get.

From Depressed and Suicidal to a New Outlook

I went from unhappy to miserable to struggling to overwhelmed to depressed and suicidal. First I was diagnosed with post-natal depression, followed by treatment-resistant clinical depression. Then came the biggest clanger of all, diagnosis number three: borderline personality disorder.

Unforgotten – Marlboro State Psychiatric Hospital

A few months ago, I saw a photo on Facebook of a cemetery in Marlboro, New Jersey. The cemetery was on the grounds where the Marlboro State Psychiatric Hospital once stood, and was the place where people who were once residents of the hospital were laid to rest.

Addiction and Anxiety – My Poetic Recovery

Trapped between fear and anxiety, I would drink and use drugs to cover up my feelings. After years of living this way with several bad trips, blackouts and hospitalizations, I went into treatment.

Cumulative PTSD for a Police Officer After 9/11

This video features Officer Ron Griffith, formerly of the NYPD. After 9/11, Ron’s personality shifted. He became a controlling, angry person. He says he wasn’t aware of this change until his family left him, and all he was left with cumulative PTSD.

Bipolar Disorder Videos on YouTube

  If you’re living with bipolar disorder, or you have a friend or family member who has this diagnosis, then these bipolar disorder videos on YouTube will be great mental health resources. At OC87 Recovery Diaries, we seek to #buststigma around mental illness by...

Dating with Schizophrenia

Despite getting progressively better at social interaction, dating with schizophrenia is just too much and, every time I try, I crash and burn.

The Push and Pull of Depression

Still, I resisted. For several years, I didn’t want to accept that the push and pull of depression was a permanent part of me.

Bipolar Disorder: Never Giving Up

There is only one thing that gets me through the bipolar cycles and that is time. It is a cliché but, during my cycles, the only way is through.

Traveling With Depression

After traveling with depression, I know that I am a powerful being who overcame the dragon blowing fire into my brain. I fought, and I won.

The Blended Shades of Depression

This disassociated state, where you plan your death as though you were planning Tuesday night’s dinner, is one of the many shades of depression.

Episode 6 – Mental Health in Comedy

Comedians Robert Ecks and Jacquie Baker discuss the complicated ways in which mental health is impacted by comedy, and how the two can go hand in hand.

Disclosing Your Mental Illness

Disclosing your mental illness has costs and benefits, but the thing to remember is that, while it’s a tricky choice, it is most definitely a choice.

Waves of Ennui and Depression

I start to feel a bit of ennui, a French word meaning, “general malaise.” This can go on for a while until the ennui surrounds me and depression sets in.

What is “OC87” Anyway?

“OC87” is a term coined by one of my therapists. It refers to the year 1987: the year I wanted to control everyone and everything.

22 Mental Health Podcasts

In celebration of our new podcast, we’ve rounded up 22 mental health podcasts that are doing their part to #buststigma around mental illness.

Listening: My Time in a Psych Ward

Perhaps it is important to talk about how I ended up in a psych ward and how I ended up having an earache. I can explain pieces of the first thing.

The Side-Effects of Side-Effects

Living with schizophrenia, I’ve been through the full gamut of side-effects. New side-effects pop up to say “hello” with each medication I’m prescribed.

A Bipolar Diagnosis: Suicide Watch

“Honey, I will be checking on you every fifteen minutes.” I stared at her, puzzled, until she leveled me with a four-word gut punch: “You’re on suicide watch.”

Talking About My Depression

I’m talking about my depression, not in vague terms any longer. It is a problem. It has a name. My boys know that name and I hope they’ll be stronger for it.

Schizophrenia and Love

Love can be the gasoline on schizophrenia’s fire, playing tricks on your mind and it can lead you to places from which you may not be able to return.

Losing My Job, Keeping My Mental Health

The severity of my depression in the wake of losing my job solidified the notion that, for people with mental illness, having a job can make all the difference.

The Light Switch Effect of Stress

The effect of stress is serious to your mental health. It’s easy to fall into delusional holes if your stress level gets to a point that isn’t manageable.

Beginning Therapy; Being Vulnerable

People say the first step in therapy is acceptance. I can’t speak for others, but I’ve started taking my steps. It’s okay if you want to take yours.

Disclosure

Disclosure is about feeling safe enough to find a kinder voice for ourselves. Every time I share my experiences in safe spaces I feel truer to myself.

The Family and Schizophrenia

Family is the most important thing for a person with mental illness. We need support and validation that we are not alone in the world

New Editor In Chief

It is with great pleasure that I announce the appointment of Gabriel Nathan as editor in chief of OC87 Recovery Diaries.

Mental Health Wish List

What is your mental health “wish list” for yourself in 2017? How would you like to grow personally? Where will you look for inspiration and strength?

Schizophrenia & Talking To God

There are nights where I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling and I ask for help. Sometimes the voice comes; sometimes it doesn’t. By now, I’m used to it.

The Downside of Empathy

Narcissism begets hyper-empathy: narcissistic parents produce children who become attuned to the emotional states of their caretakers in order to survive.

I Have Schizophrenia

Yes, I have schizophrenia. But I don’t want to sit around feeling sorry for myself because I have schizophrenia, and life can be difficult sometimes.

The Pain of Being Labeled Crazy

The pain of being labeled crazy doesn’t present itself as one big sweeping hurt, more like a series of small little jabs as you go through your days.

In Discovery With Bipolar Disorder

It took a year for me to find the courage to google “bipolar disorder.” On some level I knew I needed professional help, but there were a lot of risks.

OCD or The Art of Self-Humiliation

I have learned the tools and techniques with which to deal with the many facets of my OCD, including being able to laugh at it once in a while.

Seasons of Depression & Kevin Breel

“Real depression isn’t being sad when something in your life goes wrong. Real depression is being sad when everything in your life is going right.” – Kevin Breel

Living With Schizophrenia

Living with schizophrenia has made me aware of this fact: I have a mental illness that causes me to question the reality of things.

Hearing Voices With Berta Britz

For years I didn’t question hearing voices. I felt powerless. I was just at their mercy. I think recovery is about reconnecting with who we are.

Who Am I? A Student With OCD & Anxiety

What would you say when someone asks “Who are you?” The first word that comes to mind when I think about this question is Student. I’m a student, an academic, a professional learner for life.

Young, Black and Bipolar

“Young, Black and Bipolar” helps people navigate through the craziness of accomplishing a normal life after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

How I Accepted My Anxiety

I once heard anxiety compared to a superpower. Once I stopped being so ashamed of it, I saw that anxiety was my superpower too.

Mental Health Recovery Stories: 2015 In Review

Another year has come to an end. I have to say that this is one of the quickest years I’ve experienced in my lifetime. Many people I’ve spoken with have felt the same way. I’m not sure why people are experiencing this phenomenon but so be it. One thing is for certain:...

Born into Addiction and Withdrawal

We were a white, middle-class, Jewish family. Born into addiction with junkie parents, I came out of the womb and began having withdrawal seizures.

Rachel’s Recovery On Film

Rachel has been on her own since high school. She has fought to overcome depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety.

I Still Lose Myself

I hurt so much. I didn’t understand how to take care of my body. I didn’t know that I was sick with Bipolar II and a major anxiety disorder.

Best Day Project

To cope with depression, Grace Kim set out to do something scary every day, and the Best Day Project was born, giving Grace a new perspective on life.

Drawn to Forgiveness

Ron Thompson is a fascinating guy — an artist with a pen, a poet with words. His video, Drawn to Forgiveness, incorporates both of these strengths.

PTSD & Healing Hurt People

Healing Hurt People works with young people in Philadelphia who are seen in the emergency room for violent injuries (gunshot, stab, or assault wounds).

Tyler Hurst’s Recovery Reflections

Tyler and Brooke are active in YPR, an advocacy organization that aims to make it easier for youth to find and maintain their recovery from addiction.

Things Blur

“Things Blur” is a story about a break from reality. Due to PTSD (among other things), I had what was later described to me as a manic episode.

Life Lessons from “Our Town”

The staff at Montgomery County Emergency Service (MCES), a private, not-for-profit, psychiatric hospital put on a production of the play Our Town.

An Open Letter to Everyone

I used to be like you. Why should I air my dirty laundry? What if my friends all think I’m weird if they know my brain is broken? This is my brave.

Lessons From A Year Well-Lived

A recap of the 5 most popular posts on OC87 Recovery Diaries from 2014 plus the OC87 Recovery Diaries team shares what helped us along throughout the year.

A Director’s Journey

I was 14 and my mother, in the depths of depression, sat in our living room crying. This experience began a director’s journey into documentary film.

First Person Recovery

OC87 Recovery Diaries & public television station WHYY have teamed up with first-time filmmakers to create videos that tell inspiring first person recovery journeys.

Learning To Trust Again

As someone with Asperger’s Syndrome, it’s very difficult for me to take the perspective of other people. Recently, I made a breakthrough in this area.

A Hero’s Life

Lost to paranoid schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, Ed was in limbo for 30 years before finding the right medication and community to heal and play music.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It’s okay to not always know how to navigate complex memories, emotions and traumas. The Perks of Being a Wallflower was a gift in teaching me these things.

Torrey Pines

Interview with Clyde Petersen about Torrey Pines, a stop-motion animated adventure film about coming of age with an undiagnosed schizophrenic single mother.

Message To The World

A short video with a simple question: What is your message to the world? It’s a big question, but very few people appeared at a loss for words.

Child and Family Connections

Evan Kaplan of Child and Family Connections talks about new services for parents with mental illness and other mental health challenges and their children.

Mental Health > Art

Is art more important than mental health? Laura Farrell shares her own mental health art and says that mental wellness is more important than creating art.

Darlene’s Recovery Story

Video from the Hollywood Beauty Salon documentary: Remembering neglect in foster care, alcoholism, and mental illness, Darlene talks to her inner child.

The Perfect Storm

Bud Clayman, from the documentary OC87, talks about his experience with Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) therapy while at the International OCD Conference

A Journey Within

Monica, a young transwoman, talks about her experience with mental health challenges, homelessness, and finding her chosen family at The Attic Youth Center.

Rachel “Hollywood” Carr

“I would not want to change my life, even all the negative and bad stuff, because it actually made me who I am.” —Rachel “Hollywood” Carr

A Choice

I don’t really want to share any of this. My mind is like a pendulum swinging from, “I don’t have any mental health problems and it’s a sham to pretend. . .

Delaney Ruston

Interview with Delaney Ruston about her documentary Hidden Pictures, where she visits India, China, South Africa, France & the USA looking at mental health.

Marbles

Marbles is a hilarious moving graphic memoir about artist Ellen Forney’s diagnosis & recovery journey with bipolar disorder, a search for clarity & wellness.

The Reel Mind

“The Reel Mind films have a message of hope and recovery. People come in feeling alone and isolated and leave feeling very differently” –Dr Larry Guttmacher

Sprout Film Festival

Anthony Di Salvo talks about Sprout Film Festival, vacations for people with developmental disabilities, and Sproutflix, a new movies on demand platform.

Chelsea’s OCD Song

My journey with OCD has been a struggle. Music makes me feel better. I write about what I know. Listen to Chelsea’s OCD song, “OCDani.”

2014 Roundup

A roadmap of festivals for filmmakers and film lovers alike that encourage film submissions surrounding ideas of mental health and recovery,

We’re to be Heard: Arah’s Story

“If there’s anybody having a mental challenge, I hope they’d be brave enough to speak out. They are not the only one going through that.” – Arah Cooper

The Story of John Rocco

“I’m recovering from addiction, major depression, ADHD, and HIV. If I can come out of 28 years of addiction and prison, you can do it too.” – John Rocco

Learning How To Talk

“I have this overwhelming need to help people understand where mental illness is coming from in a way that a lot of people aren’t able to do.” – Evan Kaplan

Hearing Voices

Tim Connors shares his recovery with hearing voices. Through the support of family and groups, Tim leads a happier and healthier life.

Of Two Minds

In OF TWO MINDS, Liz recounts her lost years of extreme mania and depressions as well as the effects of electroshock treatments.

I Am A Voice Here

OC87 Recovery Diaries and WHYY teamed up with mental health providers to create original short films that detail journeys of recovery and transformation.

Confronting Stigma

OCD – People hear the word disorder and they think weird, sick, handicapped, and depraved. Completely unnecessary and irrelevant stigma.

An OCD Therapist’s Story

I had a rough go of it with the OCD when I was a teenager. There wasn’t a heavy focus on mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy the way there is now.

More On OCD

Cognitive behavioral therapy is divided into the ‘C’ and the ‘B’ of CBT. The C is for cognitive, which refers to thought and the ‘B’ is behavioral therapy.

Defining OCD

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is one of the disorders that’s easily defined by its own name. So you have obsessions which are unwanted, intrusive thoughts

The Metamorphosis of Sanetta Watkins

In this excerpt from the documentary Hollywood Beauty Salon, Sanetta “Butterfly” Watkins shares her metamorphosis recovery journey with schizophrenia.

David & Lisa

While I haven’t been diagnosed with Haphephobia (a fear of having your personal space violated), I do have a tough time being hugged.

Ordinary People

At the time I saw Ordinary People, I was in the midst of major depression and going through a lot of turmoil in my life. I was only nineteen years old.

Michael Solomon

Michael Solomon is married, assumes responsibilities, and helps others in their own recovery journeys. He has a lot of empathy for people, too.

Silver Linings Playbook

I went into the film Silver Linings Playbook somewhat skeptical. I also went into the film with my own life experience with Bipolar Disorder.

Recovery Is A Verb

Performing under the name Geppetta, Adelaide Windsome describes her recovery with depression as a verb rather than a noun.

The OC87 Movie

Behind the scenes of Bud Clayman’s documentary OC87: The Obsessive Compulsive, Major Depression, Bipolar, Asperger’s Movie.

Love’s Healing Power

Between the ages of 20 – 27, I was psychiatrically hospitalized on seven occasions. My recovery story started when someone held hope for me when I had none.

My OCD Odyssey

It wasn’t until I graduated from college that the compulsive behaviors of my OCD emerged. I often had obsessively sad and sometimes violent thoughts.

Mental health recovery inspiration on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

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